An Akatsuki Cliché
by Scones Of Rage
Summary: Alex, a young abused teenager, and her friend, Scarlett, spot a sign, one for free cats. Both are overly excided until they find out that the cats are located in an old creepy mansion with an equally creepy old woman. Reluctently they get the cats and leave, both thinking that this is somekind of Cliche fairy Tail. I do not own Naruto. Poll on my page! OC/Kakuzu & OC/?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A small girl sat in the corner of her lonely dark room, her legs tightly hugged to her chest and her arms spun around them, Soft whimpers escaped from her frail body and she shuttered in pain. She looked to only be about 11 or 12 maybe even 13 with the small height of 5'1. She had short shoulder length burnt orange hair and a molten gold/brown eye, the other was a dark cobalt blue. Her skin was a milky white color and looked very soft, but she had many scars littered on that pretty skin of hers it ruined her eternal beauty. Blood seeped through a few of the newly made cuts on her arms and legs and splattered onto the floor slowly in small drops. They taunted her, they could flee from her body, but she had to stay. It was madness a lone tear fell from her blue eye and slipped down her cheek over a small scar that was nearly invisible. Why did she deserve all this unimaginable pain?

She whipped the tear away and slowly stood on shaky; she wobbled a little and held onto the white wall so as to stop the world from spinning. She coughed a little into her left hand and a deep red substance dripped from her fingertips. She stared at the potent blood and scoffed, she flung her hand and the blood flew off and onto the already stained wall.

She glanced at the walls that surrounded her. Blank and smeared with blood. This was the room she had to grow up in; this is the room she dreaded. There was nothing but a bed in the far corner of the room and a small rotting desk on the other side. A few papers where spread out on the lonely table and a bottle filled with pencils sat on a shelf. She had a closet to her far right and she could only smile at the thoughts of its contents. The only things she could really own without being destroyed by that bastard of a father.

The girl looked down at her destroyed and tattered clothing, a loose black tank top with a few holes in the side and long black and white checkered flannel sleeping pants. There were a few spots stained with blood and it dripped down onto her fluffy white socks. Her gloved hands dripped with blood and a thin stream of blood dripped from her nose.

She sat on her bed and remembered what her father had told, well, _yelled _at her. It was a really good thing, even if she did get hurt in the process.

_Her father lumbered into the silent room, a bottle in one hand and a small pocket knife in the other. He yanked the girl from her sleep and threw her on the ground, "Listen up you little Bitch" He breathed into her face. She scrunched her nose up for the smell of potent alcohol rolled off of her father's breath in waves. _

"_I'm going to' be away for a few' months now and you're not comin' wit'" He slurred out. Her eyes widened and she nodded furiously, her father gone for a while? That's like… like Heaven! She exclaimed in her mind._

She smiled softly and closed her eyes, drifting off into a dreamless state. With her father gone, she could finally get better. She'll invite her best friend over and they could finally hang out for once. She could get a shower without worrying about her father waking in on her. She could finally live. She could finally be herself. For Alex no Akatsuki had never been so free before.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Are you sure it's ok? What is your father comes home early from… well, Where ever he went!" a voice exclaimed. That was Alex's only friend, Scarlett.

Scarlett is only 12, Alex is older by a year, and she has short red hair, not like Ginger-I-Have-No-Soul color but, a dark blood red hair. Her eyes are a bluish grey color and her skin is tanned. She always smiled, unlike Alex who always has a frown on her face, and she was kind of tall, about 5'9". She wore short cut jean shorts and a black tank top. On her feet where a pair of black flip-flops and her toe nails where painted black.

Alex stopped the scurry in her drawers and glanced up at her red headed companion and raised one of her orange brows "you seriously think he cares about what happens to me? He couldn't give a fuck in the world about me." She then went back to her digging.

Scarlett shook her head and sat on Alex's bed with a sigh "What are you doing any way?" she asked after noticing that she hadn't a clue what her friend was searching for. There was a small snort and a chocked laugh before the reply was given.

"Rocktober is in three weeks, Scarlett. Did you forget?"

Scarlett thought for a little before her face was contorted into a shocked look and it lit up like a light bulb "That's in three weeks? I thought it was next month?!" She shouted panicky.

Alex popped her head up and gave her friend a 'Duh' look. She shook her head and stood with a few articles of black clothing in her hands. She threw a black shirt, blue pants, and a black cloak with red clouds on it at Scarlett, who caught it with a short stumble.

Scarlett ran to the bath room to change while Alex stayed in her room to put hers on. She slipped on a ripped up loose black tank top and it had a short sleeved fishnet shirt under it. She pulled up a pair of darkish blue pants and tucked them into her black toeless shoes. She put on white shin guards over that and went to her mirror to admire her work. She smiled and put on her black cloak that had red clouds with a white outline.

"Are you decent?!" Scarlett's loud voice tumbled out of the bathroom on the other side of the room.

Alex looked over at the door and sighed; she looked in the mirror once more and ran her hand through her short hair. "Yes!" She shouted over at the door and glanced at the knob. Alex laughed a little at the thought of why she had gotten round knobs.

It twisted and Scarlett ran out. Her black cloak, the same as Alex's, bellowed out behind her and her toeless shoed feet stomped into the room. She put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest, trying to pose in a super hero form.

Alex looked up at Scarlett and laughed, Scarlett wore the same blue pants tucked into her toeless shoes and white shin guards but, she wore a loose black short sleeved shirt. Alex stood and walked over to her redheaded friend; she grabbed the shoulder of the cloak and yanked it pulling it into its correct place.

Scarlett registered what Alex had done in her brain and scratched the back of her head, laughing sheepishly. "Thanks' I can never fit the cloak well since I got it one size to big" she explained, Alex only nodded.

"Common I need to put my head in the freezer" Alex grabbed Scarlett's hand and dragged her downstairs into the big kitchen.

Scarlett scoffed "You may need to put your head in the freezer, but that doesn't mean that I do!" she complained as Alex dragged her.

"Oh will you shut the hell up! No one needs to hear your damn complaining" Scarlett glared at her best friend/Sister and huffed.

Alex threw her ginger copy-cat friend into a chair and she bolted bolted for the freezer, which she promptly threw her head inside of, letting the cold freezing air consume her orange tresses. She huffed a little and her breath came out in white puffs of frozen air.

Scarlett glared at her orange haired sister and she looked around 'What to do, what to do' she thought until she spotted a small bowl sitting on the counter. 'Is that…?' Scarlett stood and walked over to the pearly white counter. The bowl had a paper towel sitting on top of it and steam could be seen passing through the thin paper. She lifted the paper towel and peeked in at the noodles.

"Mm… Raman noodles, my favorite" she whispered as she sniffed the bowl of sweet shrimp noodles. She grabbed the bowl and set it at the table where she promptly sat down and stared at the lovely food. 'Shit' she cursed in her mind 'I forgot my silverware' She realized.

Scarlett stood once more and walked towards the drawer where all the silverware was; she slid it open and scanned the items in it. A few spoons, forks, knifes and… Chopsticks!? Since when did Alex have chopsticks? Scarlett glanced at her friend who was shivering in the freezer, her hair was sticking up slowly, very slowly.

Scarlett just shrugged and snatched up the wooden chopsticks, they were smooth and a pale yellow/brown. She sat down and dug into the shrimp flavored noodles.

Suddenly Alex threw her head from the freezer and she looked at Scarlett, she sniffed the air and her face was contorted into a deep frown as she spotted the bowl of ramen noodles in front of Scarlett. "Is that…?"

Scarlett smirked and nodded "So? What are you going to do about it, attack me? Stick your head back into the damn freezer, ice for brains!" She taunted her ginger haired friend.

Alex just blinked before closing the black freezer door, she walked up to Scarlett and stared down at the bowl and then looked back up at Scarlett. "I'm going to kill you. So slowly and painfully, you'll regret eating my noodles from heaven" she threatened.

Scarlett sunk into her seat before checking her watch; she only blinked at it before her face lit up in shock "Holy Shit! We're going to be late for our auditions!" she shouted and ran for the front door. Alex thought for a little before grabbing a bag full of things ranging from large swords to a rock.

"You don't know true pain until the moment of Death"

"In first place we have Koi! Who did a Sasuke and Naruto Yaoi!" Loud cheers roared through the small audience "And in second we have CloudMain, who did their skit on Pein and Sasori: Not my Cup of Tea!"

"This isn't right" Alex muttered running her hand through her ginger hair. Scarlett only nodded as she unzipped her cloak.

"Did anyone else notice how damn hot it was in here?" She asked

Alex nodded while looking through her phone "Hey Scarlett"

"Yes"

"I found kittens for sale" She muttered, her eyes as big as saucers

Scarlett whipped her head around to glare at Alex "Where would they stay?" she asked. Both her and Alex both loved cats and would do anything to have them.

"My fort?"

"Fuck ya"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"So this is the place?" Scarlett asked looking up from her map.

Alex gulped "That's what this map says"

They both looked up at the house they arrived at. They house was a sickly green color and the shingles where peeling off from the roof. The paint rolled off from the sides of the house and the windows where all broken in.

"I think we're at a creeper house" Alex admitted

"Then let's go in!" Scarlett shouted as she skipped to the large house.

Alex blinked "I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to go into creeper houses but, sure!" The ginger followed her red headed friend into the weird house.

**Knock Knock Knock**

Alex and Scarlett waited until the door opened and a little old witch lady stepped out. Her grey hair was all stringy, kinda like hay, and her face was sagging with wrinkles. "Why hello Dearies" her voice was old and raspy, like most old women. "Are you here for the cats?" she asked.

Scarlett nodded her head quickly a large smile on her face when Alex only gulped. She really hated old people.

"Then come on in. Stay for a little while and have some tea" she motioned with her hand a creeper smile painted on her ugly little hag face.

"No" Alex narrowed her eyes "We just want the cats. We can wait out here" she explained making the old lady give a pout with her big ugly lips.

"Fine, Fine. I'll go get them" she walked into the darkness that seemed to surround the entire inside.

"Why were you going to follow her?" the ginger questioned

"Ya"

"Well, you do know she was a creeper, a lesbian creeper to be specific. Yuri is a no, no. Remember that well." She explained quieting down when the old creeper came back out.

In her wrinkly old hands was 2 crates. In one crate was five and the other had four, nine cats?! Alex stared into the one cage and she spotted an orange cat staring at her, It purple eyes staring into hers.

"How much?" she asked the lady who just swatted her hand.

"Just take them, I don't need anything for them" she commented while handing Alex and Scarlett both a crate each.

"Thank you" Scarlett smiled and they both walked towards the large rusting gates at the end of the driveway.

One they were both back at the house Alex stopped "I thought we were taking these to my Fort?" she questioned her red headed friend.

Scarlett stopped in her tracks "Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Well, let's just take them inside and wash away all this old lady muck" Alex sighed and walked into the medium sized house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Alex and Scarlett set the crates on the floor of Alex's room; she looked into the cages and saw nine eyes peering at her. "Ok, you listen here. You trash my room, I'll murder all of you" she threatened.

They all just blinked and a small meow came from one cage "Damn Cat's" she mumbled before opening one of the crates and then the other.

Nine multicolored cats slowly padded out of the crates and looked around the room in confusion. Alex reached out and snatched up the orange ginger like cat from before. She gave it a look and took in all of its frail features.

Its pelt was a light blazing orange color and its ears drooped from the weight of the piercings that covered its fuzz tipped ears. Who put's piercings in a cat's ear? And Nose! There were three small rods going through the bridge of the kitty's nose. Its eyes were also a fine purple with little black rings and they seemed to gaze into your soul… creeper.

"Hey you wanna name them after the Akatsuki. It'd be easier to remember their names." Scarlett pointed out. Alex nodded and flipped the cat upside down so its ears flopped and it was forced to hide its tail between its legs. Alex moved the tail away, looked, and then flipped the cat right side up.

Alex held the cat up high "It's a boy!" she announced. If cats could blush, this ginger kitty would be blushing madly in embarrassment… or odd pleasure… you never know with cats these days.

Scarlett laughed and pulled the deep red kitty out "Why hello Sasori –danna!" she snuggled the kitty to death. She also pulled away the blonde, silver, and big blue kitty to her side. "I'm going to name these"

Alex nodded and looked over the cat's she had. A dark brown cat covered in stiches, a light purple/blue kitty, and two black kitties but, one had an orange face. Alex set down the orange kitty, that was Dubbed Pein ,and picked up the light purple/blue female kitten.

"You should be the origami lover, Konan. Pein's secret lover!" she whispered to the kitty, the kitties that went with Scarlett could be heard laughing.

Alex glared at them "Don't laugh. You're just jealous that they have Uber Smexy names and you don't!" she exclaimed at the other cats.

Alex set Konan down next to Pein and whispered in Pein's pierced ear "Don't have too much fun" she giggled shamelessly.

She went for the black cat's next. "You mister Lolli are now known as Obito, or Tobi if you want to go by his hidden name. LE GASP! He's like James Bond!" she laughed while humming the theme song ,setting the now frozen kitty down on the floor. Alex then gazed into the next kitty's eyes. Deep blood red.

"I dubbed thee Itachi Uchiha." She then promptly set the cat next to the frozen Obito.

"And you mister stiches are the almighty smexy Kakuzu." She purred out hugging the cat. The cat's Christmas colored eyes widened as its face was smashed up against a pair of boobs. Alex noticed this and she pulled the kitty away "Kitties a pervert~" She sang out making the orange faced black kitty laugh at him.

Alex set the stitched brown kitty on her lap as his eyes stayed open wide in shock… or pleasure of being smushed up against a pair of boobs… who knows. Alex looked at her small group of akatskitties and soon broke out in a smile. She turned to her friend who was laying on the ground with a pillow over her face and the silver kitten, probably now named Hidan, sitting on it.

"Umm… ok. I'm gonna go get ice cream. Preferably your mom's ice cream, if you know what I mean" Scarlett jumped up from the ground sending the pillow and the kitty flying into the air and onto the small double mattress. When the kitten fell onto the mattress a large puff of dust flew into the air causing the kittens and Scarlett, along with Alex, to sneeze rapidly.

Alex and Scarlett gave the cat's blank looks before they both cooed "Awwww~!" they squealed unhumanly.

Scarlett ran over and snatched up the Big Blue kitty, that she had named Kisame, you know the fish with the big blue Peinis? She held the kitty to her chest and ran down the stairs, all her other multicolored kitties following her.

Alex cocked (lol) an eyebrow and gently grabbed Kakuzu "Let's go kitties, time for yo food!" she exclaimed as she started to walk into the small kitchen in the other room.

The kitchen was pretty small, this is only a tree house, and the table only had enough room for two people, maybe three if they were kids. Scarlett already sat at the table and had four little bowls for her kitties nested on the ground filled with milk.

Alex blinked as her cats came roaring in and fighting for the milk 'So you get your cat's milk but, you don't even get some for mine? Bitch!" she shouted to her best friend who just stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry.

Alex trudged over to the small cooler and pooled out a large can of tuna, she pulled out five small bowls "Here you go kitties~!" she sang out while scrapping an equal amount of tuna in each small porcelain dish.

The kitties hurried to the dishes and ate their fill of yummy tuna fish. "You know, I used to like tuna" Scarlett said suddenly "Until I found out it was fish"

Alex gave her a look "Tuna is a type of fish you dummy" she scowled at her red headed friend.

Scarlett huffed and crossed her arms "Ya, but it always said 'The Chicken of the Sea'" she threw her hands up in the air to display her… anger?

The cats just ignored the two teens and continued eating, except for one. It was the black cat with and orange face, Obito(Or Tobi).

**Lets go to the Cats Shall we?**

"Leader-sama, those girls… why are they fighting with each other?" Tobi asked tilting his head to the side.

Pein glanced over at Tobi while licking the extra tuna from his maw and answered him "It's just playful fighting Tobi… Maybe. Stay out of range though if they decided to throw things" he explained.

Hidan lifted his head from the bowl to and turned to both Pein and Tobi "If they fucking start bleeding can I fucking sacrifice them to Jashin? He'd like those bitches" he purred

Pein hissed "No Hidan! They are the only ones to provide food for us in these tiny bodies. We kill them and we kill ourselves"

"Um, I'm fucking immortal. Or have you forgotten that all mighty Pein in the ass?" Hidan sneered at his leader.

Kakuzu soon padded over to the bickering group "Hidan" Hidan looked over to his stitched partner "Even I know that your body needs food in order to survive. So suck it"he growled

Hidan stuck his small sand paper-like tongue out at him "Fuck you, Kakuzu"

"Not in a million years Hidan, Not in a million years"

**Back to Alex and Scarlett**

The two girls had stopped fighting after Scarlett attempted a punch at Alex, who grabbed her fist and twisted it behind Scarlett's back, and then she failed miserable.

They had also stopped to see four of the cats, Tobi, Pein, Kakuzu, and Hidan, meowing and hissing at each other. "Hey Scarlett, your cat's bothering my Kakuzu-kun…. Make him stop" Alex whinned.

Scarlett pouted but picked Hidan up gently by the scruff of his neck "Bad Kitty" she smacked him on the nose. "No fighting with Kakuzu-sama. Don't want to ruin Alex's dream boy now do you?" she asked the shocked silver cat.

Alex pointed at Scarlett in rage "H-he's not my d-dream boy, you ass!" she yelled

Scarlett only laughed "Then he's your lover right?"

"NO!"

"He's your boyfriend though isn't he?"

"Shut up Scarlett!"

"OH, it must be true! Your face is getting red!"

"N-no it's not, j-just shut up!"

"Not with that attitude I won't"

"Please?"

"Yes. And you're welcome…. Zombie fucker."

"SCARLETT!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Alex sighed and slumped back down onto the small twin mattress "Scarlett! Get me some ice cream!" she yelled angrily.

"Why?" she asked running in with the Sasori cat in her arms. Her red hair was pulled up into a dolphin tail pony. She wore long black and white checkered pants and a tight neon green tank top, her feat covered by plain black socks and a black Suna headband was tied around her bicep.

"Because, I need Red River reliever!" Alex shouted clutching her blatter painfully. Alex wore a pair of plain black short shorts and then just her regular bright orange sports bra. She didn't have socks on; she liked to keep her feet bare to the cool cold air. Sitting on Alex's chest was the brown stitched cat, Kakuzu. He was forced to sit there.

"Fine, Chocolate or Vanilla?" the red head asked her younger ginger friend.

"Vanilla Please"

"I'll be back soon"

After about… 20 minutes, Scarlett finally came back with a huge bowl of pearly white ice cream. "Order up!" she shouted setting the bowl into Alex's lap.

"Yum!" Alex dug a spoon into the bowl of creamy ice cream. She ate the yummy milky substance but, she stopped when Kakuzu padded forward.

Kakuzu stuck his small furry brown head into the bowl and began lapping at the vanilla ice cream. Alex gave a slight 'aww' at the cute sight before her, she reached out and pet Kakuzu's back.

"That's right… that's a sexy kitty…" she whispered making Scarlett back away slowly, Sasori still in her arms.

"You messed up man…" she gulped

Alex scooped another clump of ice cream into her mouth but, she looked back at Scarlett "When's the next convention anyway Scar-chan" she asked while watching Kakuzu lap at the ice cream more.

"It's in Troy, New York… the Genericon. It's on the 1st …. 3-1-13… That's in two weeks!" she gasped slapping her hands onto her cheeks.

Alex gasped to and rubbed her chin "We are entering… right?" she asked her red headed friend.

Scarlett nodded and smirked "I wonder what they would think if we brought our kitties dressed as Ninja's…" she looked at Alex who also smirked evily.

"Yes, what would they think?"

After a week of searching on the web and many bloody hands later, Alex and Scarlett had finally made the Kitties all costumes. They all wore small silky cloaks, in small cat size, with the headbands, that they bought, wrapped around their different body parts.

Alex observed the kitties as the played in their costumes before saying to her best friend "Don't you think it's weird that our kittens actually act like the real Akatsuki?" she asked

Scarlett nodded "Yes, it is odd." She rubbed her hairless chin "Do you think this is like one of those cliché fanficitons where the Akatsuki are turned into cats and are transferred to our world?" she questioned, she too was staring at the playful cats.

With the Akatsuki

Itachi and Pein were both sitting on the couch as they watched Kakuzu try to tear off Hidans head and Deidara try to blow up the annoying Tobi. Both were quiet as Konan jumped up with them, her fur covered in a light sweat from running around with Sasori, she smiled at the two happily.

"Hey" she greeted "Don't you two want to join the fun?" she asked swishing her long blue tail around.

Pein just shook his head "No thank you, Konan" his purple eyes lingered on the other cats as they rough housed.

Konan just shrugged "Ok, your loss" she hopped back down and joined Kakuzu in beating up Hidan.

With Scarlett and Alex

Alex, who had finally realized what Scarlett said, raised a brow "Really? That'd be horrible, I mean, Putting cats into water and then they magically turn into hot naked men? Pfft, that'd be fun- but wouldn't that make us some kind of Mary Sue's?" she asked


End file.
